Unpacking the Masculine & Feminine with Katrina Bos

Speaker 1: 0:01

Hello, this is Blair Stanisleo, with the Happy Lion Center. Welcome to our podcast. Mystical and Infamous where we have playful and easy conversations about anything mystical, getting to the heart of all things strange and weird. Join us in a bit of magical tomfoolery, spreading the alchemy of love and light, and now we invite you to enjoy the show. You know, I know that in your book, in your books, you get very real, concrete examples, and I think that's the first step is to really understand what does it mean Totally.

Speaker 2: 0:36

Well, like, for example I mean you were mentioning that you know it'd be really great to you know study how to be more in your feminine, and it's a huge thing for a lot of women, but not just women, A lot of people need to learn that. But, for example, in relationships, if we really want to be in our feminine, then we have to stop trying to fix our partners. This is masculine right and it's a funny thing, and I don't know whether it comes out of years of not being allowed to divorce and so you're kind of stuck with this person. So you may as well give her right, you may as well try, Like you may as well like see what you can do. But that isn't where it is now. Like we all have a choice, Everyone has choice, whether we're in a relationship or not. And if you want to be in the feminine, then we actually have to have faith in our partners that they'll do some heavy lifting. You know that they're actually going to step into the masculine, but his soap, for example, like, just in general, the masculine, feminine, these are two universal energies that come together to create oneness. If we imagine, like on a high level here, that God bliss, divinity is the oneness of all.

Speaker 2: 1:50

And then this splits into duality. And how do two things interact? Any two things dog and a ball, me and a piece of chocolate. You and I, two lovers. Whatever one gives, the other receives. One protects, one is vulnerable, One creates structure, the other one is chaos. These are the sort of one pursues, one is pursued, but these two things actually create a magnetic connection together. And this is regardless of gender. It's just. It's just two aspects of duality.

Speaker 2: 2:24

The challenge with our world up until this point is we've lived in pure separation and we've lived in this patriarchal domination paradigm where not only are we separate, but the masculine energies and not just men, but the masculine energies of of school, parenting, church, governments, anything like that has this domination aspect that we will control you, we will mold you, we will make you into what we want, which actually forces all the feminine whether it's historically women, children, employees, whatever into objects. And so what happens is fast forward to today is everybody wants to be in the masculine, but they're not really in the masculine, they're in the separated masculine. So, for example, they're not caring for someone, they're controlling someone right. They're not providing an opportunity for someone to heal, they're telling them how to heal here. Fix this, fix this, fix this. And it's a real shift, not only to redefine the masculine feminine, away from the gender stereotypes of big, strong, burly masculine and soft, mirror, peacekeeping feminine, which has nothing to do with masculine feminine, it's all just part of the patriarchal stereotype.

Speaker 2: 3:51

But in relationship this is I mean, I could get, but that's sort of the high level part of it.

Speaker 2: 3:57

And that's where in relationship, if you want to have a really dynamic romantic relationship like not everybody wants that, Some people they just want to chill out, they really just want to friend with benefits, to watch Netflix with and go to Cuba, Like they really don't want a romantic thing but if you want romance, if you want to have this sort of beautiful energy, always sort of the fuels, the fires always burning in the relationship, that the honeymoon period goes on forever, the best thing we can do is polarize and normally in intimacy, one partner will desire to be in the masculine They'll be strengthened by being in the masculine and one person desires to play in the feminine and expand in that surrender, but not just surrender to a person, but surrender to life.

Speaker 2: 4:48

This, like you know, I often think of the feminine, like mother earth, opening up for a rain. You know, to receive a rain, but that's a huge deal Like, especially for women, to explore, being in the feminine after living in a world where we were controlled and we were abused and we were molded and we were treated like objects. The idea of me saying you know what, you just have to relax and let them do this. I mean, most women are like are you kidding? And they're not dysfunctional. This is lived experience. Right, that's a big deal.

Speaker 2: 5:32

That's my long answer to what's it all about.

Speaker 1: 5:38

No, well, no, actually it's funny you say that at the end there, because what I mentioned before, we started recording that I had been receiving over the last several months that I need to go into my feminine. Okay, for I don't know it for my life. Right, I'm sure it's for my business too, but it's specifically for my life, and I was getting this in every way, shape or form. So I was getting it in meditation, I was getting it in energy healing sessions that I was getting, and then, most recently, I've started doing dream analysis and then I'm going through the school where I'm learning to do dream analysis. So, of course, you analyze your own dreams and they also help you, and it was coming through in my dreams too, like it was like on every level. So what? The last one that I remember that was about this, which is, I think, incidentally, right about the time I messaged you was you know, essentially, you need to go into your feminine and she's giving the interpretation and I'm listening and I'm remembering all these other places that I'm getting that same information. And then I'm like, I'm like hitting a block and she said, well, does that resonate with you? I'm like, yeah, absolutely resonates with me. But if my husband was sitting here next to me and he listened to you say that, his response most likely would be so what does that mean? You're going to sleep all day because the energy work that I do, like I, when we first moved in here just before we got married, I started taking an energy course, like to learn how to do it, and it's not my first energy course, but this was a. This was a very different one, and so there's a lot of time that we spent basically what I would call us in the zone. Okay, you're kind of meditating, you're getting in that state. Well, I'm at it. You know, we just moved in, and so sometimes you come in the room because you need to get something or something like that, and I'm and of course, I'm like that's right.

Speaker 1: 7:20

He's going to think, oh, you're doing nothing, what are you doing? What are you doing for your business? You know like, no, I'm actually doing work and I got, you know, I got over that hump and I realized that going in and out is actually really, really helpful. But I still haven't gotten to that point where I feel like I don't feel like he understands or it could be all in my head. I don't feel like he understands what that means. To go into the feminine and actually do what? What does it mean to do in the feminine? So doing is the masculine. So how do you, how would you describe that? What is it to actually go into the feminine Right? So, like who's so used to being?

Speaker 2: 7:58

in the masculine, for example. Now the question is always in terms of masculine, feminine, who is the other pole? Because there's no such thing as being in the feminine, in isolation by ourselves. We always have to be both. We always have to be fully masculine, feminine, our own balance to yin and yang, symbol Right. So the only reason we polarize is because we're in relation to something else.

Speaker 2: 8:24

So if you're doing energy work, maybe you're receiving the guidance and that's a huge deal to release the thoughts, release the mental mind, release the masculine intellect and actually open yourself, open the intuition, to receive guidance. That's a big deal, I mean for a lot of people who have a super strong intellect. I mean that was a huge part of my journey because, you know, I read about this in my book what If you Could Skip the Cancer? Because when I was sick in 1999, I had breast lumps, my mom just died of breast cancer and the man, the teacher, who appeared in my life. He says you have got to learn to shut your brain off or else you're never going to be able to hear the guidance to heal. Well, my brain, I thought, was my only ace in the hole. I have a math degree, I was a computer programmer, I was sure that being intelligent was the best thing in the world. Intuitive, blah, blah, blah, hippie stuff, right, that's not important, right, and but to actually shut my brain off and listen and realize, oh, it's a huge world out there, like you suddenly open a satellite dish to the cosmos and you're like there is so much more out there and this is a really big deal, that you say you know that. Well, he's going to think I'm doing nothing.

Speaker 2: 9:45

And this is a huge part of the training we've gotten about the masculine, feminine, that not only is the masculine, the only thing that's important. Right, the intellect is important, intuition is secondary, being in charge is important, working for someone is secondary. The one that's the giver is important. The one receiving as a loser, the one who you know what I mean, the one who is stoic, that's important. The one that's chaotic and full of ideas, they're not important. And so this idea of even resting, of receiving, everything about the feminine is considered weak, distracting, unimportant, something to be fixed. Imagine emotions, the difference, like the wisdom that lives within people's emotions. I mean you do energy work. This is where all the juices, until someone starts crying. They haven't even touched the truth, yet right To actually say no. This is the feminine is important, but that's in all of our training. To say actually the quieter I can be, the better information I'm going to get here and to deeply know that that changes everything.

Speaker 1: 11:01

Yeah, and I think it requires a certain amount of strength to be able to say exactly what you just said. Like I know I need to go into the feminine and get my guidance, and I think that they do. I've seen all throughout places, if I find really good quality content, even in business. So even in the regular normal thinking Western society, they acknowledge that they're, they call it, like you know, the sixth sense, or they call this intuition right. So they acknowledge that it's important, but they don't teach anything on it. So they to learn how to do it.

Speaker 1: 11:37

You have to go to this kind of area and so it feels like this elusive, untouchable thing. But yet there's all kinds of people and I know I'm one of them. You know you listed off all those things that are considered lesser than which is the feminine right, and I'm, I'm like all of those things, I'm the creative, you know, like I, you know I I don't know how to, I don't remember all what you said, but I'm just all of those things and I know that we've been told that those things are lesser than so you know, when you're trying to do something or become this, this unified, like you're talking about this balance masculine, feminine. I suspect and I suspect you'll find this too that really is. It's more about the talk that we do to ourselves about those patriarchal stories that stops it from happening. So if we could kind of stop that mind from saying those things.

Speaker 2: 12:34

Totally. And we also need to shift how. So because of this, the domination piece, the masculine sort of oppresses, controls whatever the feminine, whatever it is, its parents being taught that, you know, spare the rod, spoil the child, or education systems that the children are just blank slates to be filled, as opposed to these creative geniuses that need to be, you know, given a space to expand in their genius, right Like. We have this everywhere. And so the thing is like when the masculine feminine actually are connected and joined and playing together, the masculine actually reads the feminine to know what to do, as opposed to controls it. So, for example, in the given receive dynamic, historically, we give people things, whether they want them or not. We give advice, we give help, we give whatever, we give food. You're too skinny, you got to eat something. Oh, you're a vegan here, eat some meat, whatever, like here. Here, here we're constantly giving, giving, giving, but we're never saying to the person what would you like? Well, we do say that, but that's the difference. If I say to you what would you like for dinner and you say, oh man, would I ever love a? And I give that to you, now we have a connection. If I say, what would you like? And you say like this and like nah, you know what I'm going to make you this. Oh, like that separation, but it's imagine talking and listening, right, how often do we talk at people as opposed to saying things that maybe someone might be interested in? How often do we talk about things as I'm now conscious, does she want to hear this? Not just kidding, but it's like you know, how often do we say things I don't know for our own entertainment, because no one's even listening?

Speaker 2: 14:29

You know, and this is the difference, imagine structure and chaos that select with children, for example. Children are naturally chaotic, and not chaos in a negative way, chaos in an unstructured, natural expansion way. Well, the greatest thing we can do as parents is dig deep inside of us and figure out the best structure for those children to really expand in, and it doesn't mean not being in charge. We're the adult, they're five, right, I mean there's a, there's a, there's a structure, but there's a way to do it that actually helps them to expand, as opposed to here's the structure that I'm going to squash the chaos, I'm going to contain the chaos to make me feel comfortable, and that's the big thing is, we have to be comfortable with the feminine.

Speaker 2: 15:20

We have to be like I can do it, but our masculine so broken. Instead, it's almost like imagine a surfer right, the best surfer can meet whatever wave comes to them. They don't form the waves that they're good at, right they are. They know that inside of them they have the skills. That's what it is to strengthen the masculine, that, no matter what comes, I can do it. And that's what empowers everybody.

Speaker 1: 15:55

So would you say that actually to? Yeah, they happen at the same time. We have to like they're always together.

Speaker 2: 16:01

So, for example, let's say, I the structure protector, vulnerable, dynamic. Well like, let's say, I really struggle to be vulnerable. Maybe I've lived in a family where that wasn't safe and it was poo pooed and you know. So I was taught. So now I have to alert. I mean, people go through this all the time when they go on a healing journey, because the healing happens in their vulnerability, right, and so they have to be vulnerable. Well, it's not just about losing your mind, right, you actually, you become a little bit more vulnerable, but at the same time, you now actually have to strengthen your masculine, because we have to create a safe space. It's like we have to be able to hold space for ourselves to become vulnerable, and sometimes it happens that the feminine rises first and the masculine rises to meet it. But sometimes, for example, why do we do so much yoga and meditation? Now? Because we meditate, because we created clear space inside of us, so that and that's a masculine space where we can hold space for ourselves, and then maybe tears rise, because now we have this safe space and the tears can rise, so they kind of grew together. And then maybe we meditate or reduce, some yoga some more. We release some more things and we but we have this maybe safe space of a class, but they have to grow together.

Speaker 2: 17:23

It's one of I have a real bone to pick with a lot of retreats and stuff that people do where their goal is to blow you apart. You know they want you to have this. Yeah, like they just want everybody to just emotionally release everything and blah, blah, blah. But what I witness is people go. So they go to this retreat, the facilitators create this really strong container and then the people lose their mind. They hate everybody, they scream, they yell, they do primal all this I've done it, like all this stuff. But then they go home and they've now unleashed this feminine fury, but they never got. They were never taught to speak, they didn't have the time to strengthen their masculine ability to handle it, and they go home and their family doesn't understand them and no one understands them and they quit their job and they you know all this stuff and it's like it's not responsible, like we have to heal in tandem.

Speaker 1: 18:26

Okay, yeah, so that actually brings up. This is probably why I've had this experience. As usual, I have a new client who he has actually had this spiritual awakening. Now, to listen to him describe this, I have interacted with him, but I mean, I haven't had hours upon hours with him, so it's all kind of new. But he described his spirit.

Speaker 1: 18:49

It sounded like it was a Kundalini awakening, what I have seen in other places where people describe it, where, for lack of a better way of describing it, they go into convulsions and they talk about what the energy feels like and then what, what kind of awareness they have, that kind of stuff. So it's, it's a very personal experience, but it's very dramatic, okay. And you know, first, when he was talking to me, I think he was actually asking, it was myself and another person. I think he was actually asking to see if somebody else had experienced things like that, and my response to that was I mean, I don't know, I mean I can't say that I've had a situation where it felt like it. I wasn't, I was completely oblivious to this spiritual world and then, all of a sudden, I woke up and I was.

Speaker 1: 19:37

I woke up because of this energy shift and it was so dramatic and then I didn't know what to do with the world. It wasn't ever like that for me. For me it's always been like an awareness here and then, oh well, now we had to go back to reality and you know, oh, and here's a new awareness, and so it has become this thing where it's like, yeah, I get it, I understand. So I understand where he's coming from, but for him it's actually affected his, his personal life, like you just described. This person I know in real life has had experiences where his wife is right there, next to her, him, and what he is physically doing in this 3D world is freaking her out. I mean, she is full on having traumatic events and so he's asking for help. And it sounds like that's what you're talking about is going back into that and finding a way to suddenly shift.

Speaker 2: 20:25

I mean, I don't know what his whole story is, but I teach Kundalini yoga and and the way it's done is a very gentle thing. You only move as quickly as your psyche can do it. You only unleash what is possible within your system because you're the, you're the moderator, right, it's very gentle. All the time everything's shifting. Anyone I know that says they had a Kundalini awakening. I don't understand why they're calling it that. I think they've had some kind of mental break and I know this isn't a popular opinion.

Speaker 2: 21:08

But Kundalini is a natural energy within the body. This is our fuel, this is our life force. And what happens in the body is there become blocks because of men, of trauma, of different things you know, and these blocks sit in the chronic vessels, the noddies, and then what happens is like, let's say, you do something, like you make a change, or you do Kundalini yoga, or you go for a run, or you have an energy session. As those blocks start to leave, the Kundalini starts to flow more right and it nourishes as it flows and every so often it might knock on a few chakras, like there's hundreds of chakras, to kind of go, hey, are we ready to let this stuff go and we get triggered or whatever, but it's a natural thing.

Speaker 2: 21:59

Now, if someone has done something, if someone has gone to a retreat where they did extreme things it could be extreme breath work, it could be plant medicine, it could be all kinds of things that someone might have done that somehow bypassed the natural blocks the body already has put in place to stay in equilibrium, you know, then what we have to do is like put them back together, and they do have to heal everything, because it's just weird, it's like suddenly dynamite got let off in their system. But this isn't natural and it's not Kundalini. Like, kundalini is a very natural occurring energy in the body, and so it's always interesting to me, like, okay, so what exactly led up to this? You know it.

Speaker 1: 22:57

I don't know this guy well enough to know that it kind of reminds me. So I'm originally from the Southeast and so down there there's a lot of what they call Southern Baptist and it reminded me sort of. You know, it was like vague in the past and I haven't been to one of those churches in a long time, but I do remember this whole idea of being quote saved. Okay, this is where you commit yourself to God and I don't know what happens. But these people get really emotional, they usually sob. So I'm looking at this from the outside.

Speaker 1: 23:31

Okay, they're usually in tears, they go up to the front of the church and you know, I know the stories that I'll go with it and like, for me it just never really aligned because I'm. There's a lot of reasons, but the whole experience itself was just super dramatic, which is not my cup of tea, it's not my favorite way of being anyways, but that's what it kind of reminded me of and like I wonder if that's part of that masculine that seems to be broken Like we had. Do we have to go into this dramatic experience because something is so off with the like? You're calling it the broken masculine and it's an?

Speaker 2: 24:07

interesting thing.

Speaker 1: 24:08

It's really not connected to the feminine.

Speaker 2: 24:10

I teach at the Toronto Tantra Festival each year and my partner I remember the first year we went he was raised in that kind of revivalist Christian. You know the tongues and the crying and the falling down and the whole thing. Right, he was raised in that, went to all the camps Like that was his, that was his bag, and as we walked around the festival, after a few days and I love this festival, this isn't against the festival but he said, wow, this feels just like a revivalist camp. It's like to get everybody kind of up. In many ways it's Tony Robbins using NLP and these huge auditoriums and I love Tony Robbins. This isn't against them or the Tantra people or anything, but there is a and as a facilitator, I understand the desire to create a powerful experience and so you use NLP, you use all these things to like heighten everyone's experience and they get so high and they get to have an experience that they don't get to have in their normal nine to five. But the question is, did they get sewn back together? You know it's the same with with people using various plant medicines.

Speaker 2: 25:18

Historically there was a community that created a masculine structure. The medicine was prescribed to someone because this is the medicine they specifically needed for what was going on in their psyche. They took the medicine but then they were. They remained In the village for the healing like. For that time it's just kind of like going to the hospital. The hospital says, all right, we are the system and we will keep you here for as long as you need before we'll let you go. Right, this is what's missing. Is this strong?

Speaker 2: 25:56

Like I've had people say to me. You know, I remember one time when I was traveling and I was staying with someone and they said can you please help us with our marriage? And because I've been living with them for a couple of days, is when I was traveling a few years ago and they said can you tell us what you see in our marriage? And I said absolutely not. And they said well, why? I said because I'm not going to be here long enough to help clean it up. Like I'm not going to come in here and drop a bomb in your marriage and then leave. Like if you have a question, an actual question that I can answer in half an hour, I'm not going to be here. But that's not really. That's not responsible If I lived here and you were coming to me once a week for counseling, that each week. We could keep working together. That'd be one thing. I'm leaving to go overseas for a few days. It's irresponsible of me to do that.

Speaker 1: 26:56

And this brings up another question that I was just having. We actually meditate as a group. The intention is for each individual person to raise their vibration. There's somebody in our group who does some light language, so we get messages and everybody kind of individually sometimes gets messages, and then we come out of it, we share it, so kind of like assimilate back into reality.

Speaker 1: 27:24

And in this discussion something was coming up there's been a lot of comments through time about protection. And then okay, if we need protection, then what's out there that we need protection from? And then again it's a duality, right. So the way that we have kind of articulated it is we say protection, but really that's like a language. It's a restricted language presentation of what the energy really is, in the sense that it's not really what we would call protection. It's more like you get more aligned with who you are and your higher self and as you do that, your vibration raises. So when your vibration raises, it then does not become in resonance with these other things that are not aligned with you, and so they just naturally fall away. So your protection is not like this separate thing that's keeping something out. It's just that you radiate with yourself so well that that becomes a problem.

Speaker 2: 28:26

I can't personally speak to it because I don't see energy and spirits and stuff like that. But I know people who do and I have some friends that are like you. Just like you said, you just have to be strong and clear in yourself and then you actually should be like a flow through tea bag because nothing's going to touch you anyway. But if a lot of times we go into the healing world because we actually personally need to heal ourselves, we're actually really hurting and so this is where we want to go. So we want to go deeper and perhaps that's a good time, even if, even if in our mind we have a bubble around us. It's almost like giving us permission. It's like going into a family dynamic, right, because you know it's the whole Ram Dass thing. You know you may think you're enlightened. Then we'll spend a week with your family, right?

Speaker 2: 29:22

Sometimes the hardest part of that is that we think we have to engage with every single bomb that got dropped, but for us to be able to actually create a bubble around us and say I don't have to, I'm allowed to just live within my bubble, and all those bombs are just going to get diffused Like I'm not, I'm not even going to, and there's a permission that I think strengthens what you're saying. There's a permission that strengthens my core that says they aren't me, I don't resonate with them, I don't identify with them, and I think that's. I think it is what you're saying. It's just sometimes the visual I think is helpful for people. Thank you.

Speaker 1: 30:07

Oh yeah, I definitely think the visual is helpful. I'm also going through learning how to channel, taking an actual course learn how to channel. I think I channel anyways, but this is a lot more structured. So we're doing something where they're having us go I think it's like five or six weeks and there's this person who leads it and she, essentially, is trying to. The only thing she's doing is what she's calling clear the channel.

Speaker 1: 30:34

And it is such an interesting experience that, like the first time we did this, I got into the zone. That's what you're supposed to do. Okay, so I got into the zone and she's she'll talk and she's translating energy. So she'll. Sometimes she says things, but it was really interesting. So it's a room of like 50 people on zoom, so it's a lot of people.

Speaker 1: 30:57

And as she was kind of articulating this, I felt the energy and I was noticing it. And then, as she was like making the noises, I was really surprised at how it really corresponded to how that energy felt. So there was a lot of like choking up. So she would start, you know, like that start to say something, and it wouldn't go through, and then she would finish and she'll say things. Like you know, this isn't what I thought it was supposed to be, and you know. And then she'll see past lives where you know something is happening and she kind of articulates that. So the first time this happened I'm still I'm kind of, you know, in the zone and I start to recognize this feeling and I'm like, ooh, this is the feeling that I've gotten before, where it didn't matter where I was, but I felt it and it was like I don't like that. I'm going to get up and move and I'm going to change something. I don't know what to say about this. I just don't like it. And it was so. It was so strong like that that I think I only made it like 15, 20 minutes into that and the first thing I thought was, oh, I don't know how she can do that and like, come out of that and be fine, which she was.

Speaker 1: 32:00

She obviously did her work. But we were kind of talking about that as well in our recent group meeting where I actually so we have somebody in our group who's also doing that with me and she's talked about like taking on other people's energy. She felt terrible after the first one and then she realized she was kind of taking on other people's energy and I noticed that I didn't want to sit still during these things. I mean, I'm still listening to it, I'm still there with them doing that, but I still that energy of I can't want to sit here for this because it's not pleasant. Has it really dissipated? And I, you know, I actually kind of asked about that and the answer was basically it could make it a more like you're talking about a fantastical experience. But I think and I don't know that I want a fantastical experience this like purging, I'd rather it just go instead of having just like in the realm of.

Speaker 2: 32:55

Again, I'm not. I'm not a channel or anything like that, so I can only kind of speak from this perspective. But in the terms of the masculine feminine, I wonder if there's something to be said that just because you're in the feminine doesn't mean you have to receive everything Right, because that's a huge problem that we think that if I'm in the feminine because this has been our history, you finish everything on your plate. You're just going to. If you're in school, you have to learn everything, you don't. You don't get to pick and choose. And I wonder if, as a channel, as an energy worker, you also get to make a request. You get to right?

Speaker 1: 33:43

Oh, I'm, I'm pretty certain and I think exactly what you're talking about is. Like you, you start to recognize what works for you, and it's interesting to me how some people are. It's almost like they're not actually this. This friend of mine, who's in it too, it's almost like exactly what you're talking about. She's always been taught you do this to completion. She wants to do it completely, instead of saying you know what I really don't like. That that's really not a pleasant thing. I don't think I'll do it and, like you're saying, actually choose to receive something Nine billion people on the planet incarnate.

Speaker 2: 34:16

I'm pretty sure you can choose who you want to listen to in the discrenic world. Let me say it yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1: 34:29

It's so liberating when you get to do that.

Speaker 2: 34:32

Right.

Speaker 2: 34:34

And it's like I mean imagine imagine in the feminine to be able to go no, no, thanks. Next, like, why not? It's like no, I don't like the smell of you. Next, because here's the thing, like even what you just said, how often do we shame the feminine for not wanting what they're given? You know, like it's like.

Speaker 2: 35:03

I remember this was a huge part of my journey when I was sick, because, you know, I had these breast lumps and everyone in my family started breast cancer. So you know, but I actually was deeply depressed to the point of despairing. I had, but what did I tell myself? You have everything you need, katrina, you've got a roof over your head and a good manager side, and two children and food on the table. What's wrong with you? This isn't what I wanted, and we're allowed to ask for what we want. Like, why not? Like, it's so funny.

Speaker 2: 35:37

And so I teach Tantra, and Tantra and its foundation is that we are divine and physical beings. What that does it? That means we get to get what we want. We don't have to. We are not slaves to a machine. You know, if we are Shiva Shakti, if we are Shiva incarnate in Shakti that's what we are Then we get to, we get to create our lives, channels husbands, wives, children Like this. This is what we're here for and yeah, I think there's a great empowerment to say I'm open, but I would like chocolate, please.

Speaker 1: 36:17

That's, that's my way, yeah, that's right, okay, so I wanted to ask you, how, how do you say, how would you teach somebody to understand, to know, when the masculine and feminine energy is off, like in off.

Speaker 2: 36:39

I'm going to leave that in a person whatever that means to you, how do you?

Speaker 1: 36:43

how do you? I'm going to say just in the first It'll show up in all kinds of different ways.

Speaker 2: 36:48

Like, one of the dynamics internally is inspiration and manifestation, because, again, inspiration is what we're talking about Receiving an idea. Manifestation is the masculine energy of making it happen. How many people are stuck and they're unable to do the things they want to do, right? So there is a block in their manifestation there. There there's something, a muck in the masculine. And also but again it's always both because, one, they don't trust their intuition, right, they don't believe that the feminine is healthy, they don't believe that these ideas actually could be gold mines and, because of the world we've lived in, they're afraid to be judged. So they're afraid to be masculine, they're afraid that people aren't aren't going to understand, they won't be able to explain it to others.

Speaker 2: 37:39

So there's all these things that we've been raised in. So let's say that's what they come to. I just feel stuck. Well, then there's the two things we have to look at Are you afraid to manifest and do you trust your intuition, right? And then the cool thing is like before you, just you start with little things, like intuitively, like I, it's so silly, but I always I'll go walking and intuitively I'll go, I'm going to turn right, for no good reason, with no attachment, but it's little things like that that almost just start the neural pathways happening, because I had, I intuited something and I did something, even if it's small, and then bit by bit, yeah.

Speaker 1: 38:24

So just kind of get into that feeling where you know you get the information and then you respond to it like immediately and that's it.

Speaker 2: 38:31

I just want to jump back to the channeling and because, especially when you're doing it in the world of helping someone, there's something very different. Sitting as an open vessel, when someone has asked you a question and you receive an answer for them, right, a lot of people will go to an intuitive for an answer and you just you repeat what you hear, and that's, and that's a very it's. It's easier. It's easier than just trying to try to listen for yourself, right, that's. But so in some ways, people might feel like they have no power in their life, right, and so, in that way, they actually often will have people around them that are extremely controlling, right? So they have this disconnect between the instead of having a protector and vulnerable, which is supposed to be balanced in all of us. All the time they have a controller and they have no power.

Speaker 2: 39:28

Well, that's interesting, right? Normally, that's going to be historical. That's what they were raised with, or whatever. And now they've attracted bosses like that, they've attracted partners like that. Eventually, their children will even treat them like that. And then the question is they have to ask themselves is, well, where's their inner protector? Why are they depending on other people to do this and allowing it to be like dysfunctional? And again, you just start in little ways, and this is us learning how to say no and learning to speak our mind. But each dynamic kind of has a case of what's a muck here? And sometimes maybe the third, their vulnerable self, is filled with fears that they don't even believe they can protect themselves from. So they actually, unconsciously, are choosing these people who are actually mega control freaks, but deep down they like it.

Speaker 1: 40:22

Exactly Because they have those fears they haven't dealt with. So if they deal with the fears, then they'll know what actions to take and again it's like that, raising your vibration, that naturally that person will either stop behaving like that or essentially fall out of their lives.

Speaker 2: 40:38

It's funny things like when I years ago so I was married for 20 years and then I was dating for a while and all that kind of thing and my daughter, who was 17 at the time, she looked at me and she says, mom, she goes like there's this, this shadow of a man beside you and you're just waiting. You're, like you're dating, looking for the guy to fit the shadow, like get him in here, just, you know add. You know add husband and stir kind of thing or something Right. And I was like that's terrible. And I so I went sell a bit and I decided I needed to bring that masculine back inside of me. Like I was actually so accustomed to being a part of a partnership and I realized that I actually. That's when I really realized, wow, I've been a masculine feminine inside of me and I thought, okay then if, what do I really want in a man? Like what do I really want? And I decided to be my own best boyfriend. Well, as soon as your masculine and feminine is balanced inside, you recognize stuff outside of you like nobody's business, like I mean because basically I don't want to date anyone that's a worse boyfriend than I am Right, and if my inner protector is strong, I'm going to recognize an unhealthy protector who's actually a controller. But I have to have it. I have to have it healthy inside of me to even recognize it Right.

Speaker 2: 42:02

And so it's kind of like all the dynamics, the giving and receiving. Are you able to receive? Do you believe you deserve to receive? Are you someone who gives in separation, meaning you give with strings attached? You give because you want them to. Like how many people might say, wow, you look really pretty, and they look because they're waiting. And then they wait yeah, you look really pretty too. They didn't give you a compliment, they were fishing, they were reeling something in. And so we have to kind of look at our own relationship with giving and receiving. You know, like, maybe it's not that I'm afraid to receive, but maybe I give stuff to people they don't want, and so then I don't want to receive because you're probably going to give something to me that I don't want, right, because that's my inner experience.

Speaker 1: 42:53

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I have so many things to say about that, but yet it's so. On some level it's so elusive. It does feel like this cloudy thing to kind of discuss, but yet it's so prevalent, Like I mean, I even have family members who have come up and said, like they come in, like they've made some sort of dramatic change to themselves, and they come in the room and they say, well, I'm not, I don't really need anybody's approval for this, but then they don't say anything else. So it's like, really, is that, is that really what you're saying here? Are you saying something else?

Speaker 1: 43:37

And it's been interesting to kind of play with that, because you're like, well, you know, I could do the normal, which is like give back and say exactly kind of like you're talking about oh well, it looks nice, I like it. You know whether that's true or not. Right, that's what the person is looking for. And then you know you go on the regular kind of unconscious patterns or if you choose not to say anything and you take that person out their word. You know, like, if you're able to separate yourself from that person and you can maintain your balance, and then you not saying that we're trying to incite them, but they usually, oftentimes do get kind of like they get agitated because you haven't done this formula. It kind of expected response. But if you're able to stay away you can start to ring. Oh, look at that response, Isn't that such an?

Speaker 2: 44:28

important point, that's not mine, this is because we've been in separation for so many millennia, lying has become completely normal. Saying things we don't need mean agreeing to things we don't want to do, accepting things we don't want we have. Lying is built into our almost all of our relationships. You know, like well, was that good for you? Oh, yeah, honey, it was awesome. Yeah, Like constant, you know, and, and. So what's interesting is, in order to actually have this true union of the masculine feminine that we actually dance together in connection, we all have to learn how to be honest in kindness, always in kindness. But we have to stop lying.

Speaker 2: 45:18

And that means, when someone says something to you, you know, for me, unless someone asks me a question, I won't respond. You know, like I mean, it's not like a here on a podcast, I'll never stop talking if you to interrupt me. But it's like in life, how often people just make a statement and then they wait and you're like like I don't okay, like there's nothing to say because you didn't actually, but they're waiting for a reaction and it's like do you have a question for me or something, like I'm not sure what my part of this conversation is. And it's really interesting because, bit by bit, everything starts to clean up and it's a little uncomfortable in the beginning. You know, it's the same thing as if someone all masculine and feminine dynamics are whole in themselves.

Speaker 2: 46:14

So, for example, if you come to my house and you're hungry and I'm like, hey, do you want me to make you a sandwich? You're like, yeah, I'd love a sandwich. That's complete. You were hungry, I had food, so I gave it to you. There's no, even Stephen. There's no, okay, well, okay. So the next time you come to my house I'll make sure I've got stuff for sandwiches, or maybe I'll even one up it or whatever. And it's like, no, it's done, that was done. And if I ask for something and you have it, why don't we just share it? But it's done, and so it's a very interesting thing when someone gives you something and you just say, hey, hello.

Speaker 1: 46:59

Yeah, yeah, I think that's that's definitely missing. I noticed that, actually. So my, my first husband died in 2013. And of course, as you know, that puts you into a whirlwind of all kinds of things, but for me that would. There was a lot of quiet time and there was a lot of noticing these things. And what I actually noticed, honestly, about my inlaw family that I hadn't I absolutely had not really genuinely consciously noticed this, but as I recognize it with them after my husband died, then I started to recognize, oh, my husband did that a little bit, but he didn't do it to that degree there's and I think, being an introvert also, eventually we all get to this point where we start to recognize a lot of people fill space with talking.

Speaker 1: 47:48

That's not necessary, you know, and that's what I noticed after he died was that there was just a lot of talking and it didn't come across, it didn't fully consciously understand it, until my brother-in-law was like giggling I think we were saying goodbye and he was like leaving town because he didn't live where we were and he was like giggling and of course, I'm like in complete distress. My husband has died out of the blue, like three days ago or something right and and I'm I don't respond, but I'm thinking, okay, he's laughing, why, what in the world could possibly be worth laughing about right now? You know? But then I just started to recognize the behavior. I saw it in my father-in-law, I saw it in, you know, my brother-in-law, and that I honestly saw some of it in my mother-in-law. And it's just like this they fill this space because they're uncomfortable with the quiet.

Speaker 2: 48:41

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 48:42

But that's just, would you say. The quiet is the feminine.

Speaker 2: 48:44

For example, in our society we love the things, we know, the known, but what the unknown is very scary. This is sort of the mystery of life, right, and this is all the feminine. This is the chaos, the wildness, the mystery, the unknown. That's all very scary. And sitting in silence, I actually wonder if it's cultural, because my daughter went to an exchange in Finland one year and Finnish people don't do that and she was. She was only 17 when she went and she'd be sitting around with all these teenagers and they'd all just be sitting there in dead silence for like half an hour and they were perfectly happy.

Speaker 2: 49:33

They were just perfectly happy, someone might have said something, and then they would talk for a while and they would laugh and they were really funny people, like she loved them, like they were hilarious. And then as soon as that conversation was done, they would all just sit in silence and they were perfectly comfortable with it. So I wonder if it's cultural.

Speaker 1: 49:57

Yeah, well, I would imagine. So, yeah, that makes a lot of sense and personality wise or whatever.

Speaker 2: 50:07

There's different levels of that right, but I think I'm naturally an introvert, but because I've had my own businesses for a long time, and especially like my first. I mean we were dairy farmer. Well, I was a computer programmer and then I married a farmer. So it was a dairy farmer for a while but then I opened a dance studio and with a dancer and suddenly I had to be like public facing, I had to find a voice, and then I started teaching yoga and then I started teaching meditation. I had to, I was going out to all these companies and then I bought a train station and I ran all these different classes and so I've been sort of acting like an extrovert for a long time.

Speaker 2: 50:47

But I started to realize that people almost depend on you for entertainment. My friend calls it Katrina TV and she'll say yes, because she's a high introvert, and she'll say you know, you don't have to be Katrina TV if you don't want to be. So then I'll sit back and I won't say anything. We'll all go out for like drinks after something and I'll be sitting there All tables like dead silent. Sometimes, or sometimes for me I'll get talking just because I'm bored, Like I'm kind of bored with whatever. So I was like you know, I'd rather hear whatever I have to say, which sounds horrible, and I'm happy to do it, but so there is something curious about it. Anyway, for me, I think it's quite cultural.

Speaker 1: 51:34

Interesting. Okay, let's see I was going to ask you. Oh, I have one more question. I wanted to know what is your advice about when someone gets in tune with this mask and infeminine energy, like I think we, I think most adults by the time you're 25 or so, at least you've had some experience we've had to kind of go within yourself and seclude yourself and actually find that balance again. And once you find the balance, you know what it means. So let's just say that the person has found the balance, say know what that feels like, and then we go through the we like you know, you keep going, and then there's this like something that causes an imbalance. How would you say for someone to understand what does it feel like to be in the flow or to get back in the flow, like if you get out of the flow because there's some sort of congestion somewhere energetically? How do you let that lead your life, that natural flow between the mask and the feminine? What advice would you give to let that lead your life?

Speaker 2: 52:45

You sort of lost it. You've lost the plot for a little while and you're in the forest and you want to get back on the right road.

Speaker 2: 53:01

There's always like a current point of pain, like there's something that's not working, and it could be something at work, it could be that I'm not sleeping, it could be that I'm overeating or I'm I can't quit smoking, or whatever. Whatever the whatever the pain point is, it's almost like the imbalance will show up somewhere, and my experience is that whatever's first is the biggest thing, and so whatever that is, you kind of look at it. And again, what's interesting with the masculine feminine, let's say it's the inspiration, manifestation, because that's that's an easy one that is really commonly stymied when we heal, let's say, the masculine aspect of manifestation. We heal the masculine across the board, like it's not just in that dynamic suddenly giving us a little bit easier. We have more structure, we can find this stillness inside, we can we feel more courageous in pursuing things, like the masculine strengthens across the board.

Speaker 2: 54:17

Same thing is like what if the feminine is off? Like maybe it's like I just I don't know what to do next. I just, I just don't know. Well, maybe I don't trust my feminine, I don't trust my intuition, I don't trust the wild, I don't trust the chaos, I don't trust that inside of me, because deep down, I still think that the feminine is destructive, that it's going to create havoc in my life. But as soon as we start trusting our intuition, we can access the chaos, we can access the creativity we can access, we can receive more.

Speaker 2: 54:55

It's, all the same, the same yin yang symbol. We're just looking at it through different lenses, and so what's interesting, for example, is that, let's say, you struggle with the inspiration, part of the manifestation. Well, why? Oh, because who am I, like you know, and I've always been told that I was stupid, or I've always been told that I'm crazy, or I've always been told that I wasn't practical, or I always told you know that, that, that. But the key is to play with both things right, and as soon as you start playing with it, you actually uncover everything. You know what I mean? It almost doesn't matter which point you go in on, they're all going to unravel.

Speaker 1: 55:40

Yeah, and I would say that with energy work, that's. I mean, that's the rule of thumb. With energy work, you have to assess at the moment, you can't, you can't do it any other way, and that is exactly how it plays out. It's. It's always like the messages that we get in our meditation group it's always dead on, it's dead on point and not in all honesty it's dead on point for everybody.

Speaker 1: 56:04

It's really interesting. That's the same dynamic that you're talking about, thank you, okay, so we? We are running out of time here, so I just wanted to give you an opportunity to share with the listeners how to reach you and how to get it. Thank you.

Speaker 2: 56:19

Well, the easiest thing is to go to my website, katrina bossca, and from there you can find all my books, which are available everywhere online in audio paperback, ebook, and I have online courses, and if you're on my email list, then you'll get all the updates when any new trainings are coming. I have a huge YouTube channel, hundreds of talks there. It's just my name is just it's just Katrina boss. I also teach on an app called insight timer and I teach live on there three times a week, and so that's a fun place to catch me, but my website's the best place to start for sure. Thanks so much for having me.

Speaker 1: 57:06

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