What Big Energy Shifts Look & Feel Like in Reality

Speaker 1: 0:01

Hello, this is Blair Stanisleo, with the Happy Lion Center. Welcome to our podcast.

Speaker 1: 0:07

Mystical and Infamous where we have playful and easy conversations about anything mystical, getting to the heart of all things strange and weird. Join us in a bit of magical tomfoolery, spreading the alchemy of love and light, and now we invite you to enjoy the show. So we were sitting here talking about a shift I've had in energy to recognize that essentially I'm doing too many things. It's gone through an evolution of how I get that message through. I've had that message sent to me a hundred times over, like I don't know my whole life really. But recently my husband started up a conversation with me that kind of ignited the shift there because there was a question posed. We had just spent literally two and a half hours talking about the details of running the business and then the question gets posed well, could you do less? Meaning less expenditure of your energy, less expenditure of money, less put less energy into it and still get out of it what you really want to do, meaning really enjoy yourself, right?

Speaker 3: 1:19

Yes, but I had to figure out what we're in. Yeah.

Speaker 1: 1:22

Yeah, exactly I had to do, but I had not actually really entertained that and it was really kind in the sense that I could see that he really cared about my happiness. So that was a gift. That was really sweet. But it took a little.

Speaker 1: 1:41

It took about a week, a week and a half, because by the time I went to bed that night I thought, yeah, I really don't like certain parts of things that I'm doing and that's, those are the things that are the struggle, they're the block for me, right, which are supposed to be. I know this, with this work that's supposed to be like the best part, right, like you come across an obstacle and this is the way to get what you're supposed to do, meaning you're supposed to work through your obstacle and then you've dealt with your obstacle and now it's not an obstacle and now you can move on, but it's almost like they're never ending. So, anyways, I've kind of evolved to this place where I'm like, okay, I'm not going to do anything I don't really really want to do and I want to eliminate anything that I don't have to do. That I said yes to for whatever insignificant reason, if it's not screaming yes, I don't want to do it. So, almost immediately, I knew two things and I said this three times a day. I knew two things that I immediately want to quit doing, and now I can only remember one of them. I do not remember what that other thing was, but it was the one thing that I knew I really wanted to quit and it was basically doing graphics. That I've done graphics for 25 plus years and it's doing social media, and I don't love social media. Well, the last five years that I've worked for this, one person I've recognized I really don't like social media and I don't want to do it at all. So that was the first thing I wanted to drop.

Speaker 1: 3:05

But what I found this week is that, even though I know there are certain things that I do want to put my energy into and I do want to enjoy and relish while I do them, even just planning to do those things, because some of them are with other people, looking at my schedule and thinking about when is that going to come up? And like I had one meeting with Janiel, one of the leaders of our group, and we were going to do something and we planned it. Well, everything was like perfect, it was really efficient and all that, and I thought we were having another meeting. I see her again and she says something and I'm like, yeah, but I was about to tell her I just haven't done it, I haven't had time to do it, I've had other things to do and, of course, which worked out wonderfully. She's like, no, I just met once a week. I thought, which is great, but I still need to plan time to do the stuff that I'm going to do on my own so that when we meet again we have something else to talk about. And I recognize, just looking at my schedule, I just don't have time for that. I don't have the mental space for it because I don't have the physical space for it. I didn't plan that physical space, so then the mental thought processes that need to occur for that don't occur.

Speaker 1: 4:14

And even doing this podcast, I can do the recordings because I'm an action Aries, right, action person. I'm like let's schedule it. I've already got the calendar, but I've got a whole system for how it works. That's no problem. But sitting down and doing the editing takes more and it takes a different kind of focus. And it's not that I don't do it, but I don't do it in the way that would make me most genuinely happy. I'd like to record it and pretty much finish the recording, put the beginning and the end It'd be completely done and have it set to go. Check it off. Yeah, which is also it, is it? I know the list making thing is I don't know what that's from. I thought that was Virgo, but Well, I'm sure it's Virgo too.

Speaker 1: 4:59

But and so what I'm kind of running into now is I know some of the things for sure that I definitely would be to be putting out of my energy field, and some of that stuff is already kind of gone just by the willingness to say, okay, I'm not going to do any more stuff I really hate doing. But now I find myself like, okay, if I want to schedule time to work on this project I really want to work on, I have to be really certain that I want to work on it. Like I need to be really clear that this is something I want to do. My group that I made up, I knew right away yes, absolutely, this is something guaranteed, I want to do it and it's been confirmation after confirmation, so I've never had any problem with that and some of the things like hypnosis. I can remember the first time I did hypnosis on somebody. If I come out of a session I'm like, oh my god, this is the coolest stuff. You know. That's when I know, yeah for sure, I definitely want to spend time doing that. And so the podcast some of that is that does occur. I get up out of a podcast conversation I'm like this is the coolest thing, I meet the coolest people, we have the coolest conversations. So, you know, there's certain things like that that I know, but I feel like there's. I should have more clarity.

Speaker 1: 6:15

And so, ironically, I am taking a dream interpretation course which has been very enlightening, and the other night I, before I went to bed, I said, okay, I want to be shown. How do I figure out what it is that I really want to spend my time on? So I'm asking to get information that tells me. How do I know to say 100% yes to something? Right, I go to sleep turns in the dream is I'm having some kind of surgery. And then I and the reason I know that is because, like visually, I like went into the body. I knew I was in the body and was like looking. I don't know what I was looking at. But I was looking at stuff and then I recognize it was the body. And then there was, like this what I thought it was is like a Vegas major nerve, okay. Okay, we're kind of going along the major nerve and then I realized, oh, this is a really big deal. I should get help on like who to like who to pick as a doctor, and what do I need to do to be prepared for this and all that.

Speaker 1: 7:19

So then I went up on the phone with somebody who's helping me and, uh, anyways, we're going through the process. I went up actually talking to his daughter, who I didn't know, but I thought, like I knew him. I knew her because I knew him. She didn't know me but she seemed fine with the whole thing. And then, um, then he's still showing me stuff and all of a sudden I'm like, oh duh, that's how, just let it come to me.

Speaker 1: 7:50

And it was like you know you do meditations or whatever, and you'll just all of a sudden you'll get this information and it makes complete and total sense. Now, that doesn't mean that you can put it into a sentence, it doesn't mean that you can put step by step or anything like that. It just means you get it like, you get it energetically. So I got it energetically and then immediately I was like, okay, I need to remember how to tell myself to do this. Like, okay, now I really need to look at the details so I can figure that out right. And I think I actually kind of like woke up a little bit, but then I was like, okay, I didn't get the details. I really need to go back into that dream and get that. So I went back into the dream and I spent a lot of time trying to get that information. So I was still in communication with this man and he was still giving me information, but he absolutely would not give me the details. And when I came out of it I messaged one of my mentors and I was like, okay, this is, I get it now.

Speaker 1: 8:41

It's really funny. It's partially funny because here I am demanding a masculine energy that I figure out, that tell me how to essentially connect with my feminine energy. So here's my masculine energy demanding that and they tell me the answer is to connect with your feminine energy. And then I say, okay, how? As a masculine energy? And they don't give me the answer right, yeah, so? So I'm kind of like yeah, so I mean, it's clear what the message is, so but but I'm I'm still pondering on this idea, which you know. The answer is I get it.

Speaker 1: 9:16

Basically, you need to trust yourself, it's intuition. It's not that I don't have intuition or anything like that, but kind of interested to explore how that plays out. Like, how do you connect with your feminine energy and how do you like? My mentor, when she responded to that, she was like, stop trying to plan everything which is the masculine right, the masculine thing which is normal. I mean definitely a burgo thing too. But yeah, so that's interesting, kind of leaving that out there. But I was gonna actually ask you today, what? How would you articulate thanks a lot. Huh, thanks a lot how would I?

Speaker 1: 9:59

articulate what well, I think you're good at that. I think you're good at that. How, when you're connecting with your feminine energy, what is that experience like and how is it different than the masculine energy? So it's really because I kind of know what it's like. I know what it feels like I it's not that I don't do it, I do it, but then to take it and apply it to my business, that's a very different experience, I think.

Speaker 3: 10:35

Well, because you managed to use both sides of that brain and you have to in business. So when I put it to a practitioner the other day and she was talking about something similar and she's actually buying my business- Okay.

Speaker 3: 10:58

And she's a reflexologist. She does all these great things. In fact, this Friday I'm meeting for the second time on biofeedback, which I do want to get to, but she was talking about. I said I've had this wonderful masculine business mentor. It's been good for me because I've really screwed myself over as far as income and because the compassionate, kind, caring human being here that loves working people and I mean I look at people in airports or grocery stores and say, give me your feet, give them to me Ten minutes, five on each foot, and you're going to feel better. You know, I mean I just that's the way I, that's the, that's the healer in there.

Speaker 3: 11:48

Okay, well, when it comes time to do business, it's time to move the healer over. You need to look at numbers and you need to look at your value. You need to look at at where you are going to go in your business. You need to, you know, take the numbers and crunch them. That's not the caring, compassionate, gentle, feminine side. It just isn't and it shouldn't be.

Speaker 3: 12:13

And that's what I said to this practitioner and I said okay, what are you going to do about charging for this? You know this piece. Well, I don't know how I'm going to implement it in my business? I said that wasn't the question. How are you going to charge for it? I mean, you've got to start somewhere, and then how are you going to raise your prices? So that was masculine.

Speaker 3: 12:35

But what I said to her is you're thinking again as a practitioner and you're just starting your business and so you're going to want to give all the deals that you can possibly give, because that's the caring, the kind, the gentle, the loving side that is feminine. But we balance that with what's practical and good. And I said, number one you take care of your family. Now you can do that with the kindness and love and everything too, but there's bills to be paid. What do you find out from other people that they do? And I said I didn't have a mentor soon enough, I said you're stuck with me. Yeah, that's how I hear it, that's how I sense it. It isn't just about feelings, though being able. Is that our dogs?

Speaker 1: 13:30

Yeah, let's pause for a minute. I'll try and mark this up. Let's give about 30 seconds or so. Somebody rang the doorbell. I'm like it's all yelling at the dogs. I don't know if you can hear this. No, I've got two people yelling. Okay, they're almost done. There'll be a little bit more. Okay, we're good, okay.

Speaker 3: 14:07

It's not just the feelings, but that's where I start with my understanding of feminine. It's going to be the gentler side of me as an Aries woman. I'm a warrior. I'm going to have that masculine always because I'm born with it. But the understanding of the feminine and how to touch with it, usually I have my ego, my egos. Usually what my ego?

Speaker 1: 14:40

Oh, you check it, okay.

Speaker 3: 14:42

Yeah, what are my thinking? What's going on in there? Because my ego is generally masculine. It wants to compete, it wants to show you up. It's got a side to it that isn't. It isn't always healthy. I work on that. I try to have a healthy ego. What I find in balance is when I just get reasonable, let it go and then calm down. When I calm down, then I know that I'm in my feminine. It's longer pushing and going and saving the world. That activist inside is always on the alert for whatever issue somebody might have. I want to protect it and I want to take care of it. That isn't feminine. That's not my feminine side.

Speaker 1: 15:43

I'm really interested to see how this plays out, because I know what you're talking about with the ego, and I know what you're talking about the gung ho. That's part of the reason we get along, I think. So. What I also discovered this week was, I would say, I did do massage first. I don't know why I did massage, I just did. I mean, there were lots of Well you Well.

Speaker 1: 16:14

After my husband died, I knew I was going to change careers because I didn't want to do teaching anymore, because it just sucked the life out of me. I put my energy into my students so much that I didn't have enough energy for my kids and I was not okay with that. I had the opportunity, I was able to do it. I knew I was going to shift. I just didn't know what to Well, through conversation, massage keeps coming up and I keep saying, oh, you should do massage. I say that six or seven times and then I realize okay, I'm obviously not saying it to other people because they don't have any interest in it. It's obviously me. So I go into that and of course, you get involved in that. It's not the same energy healing. It does involve energy and it is connected to that, but it's still not the same thing. But that kind of shifted my focus of where I was in my career. So it allowed. Then it gave me to the doorway, the big doorway, the big open doorway, which was Reiki. Okay. So that was the real opening. That was really where I was going.

Speaker 1: 17:14

Since then, of course, I've learned lots of different modalities and ways of doing things and so forth, and the ones that I get really excited about are the ones that connect the subconscious and the conscious mind, so they bring to your conscious awareness what's going on subconsciously. And I'm still working on that. For me, and I had experiences last year because I was taking an energy course. It was a heart healers course with Adrian Blockwell, and I'm actually taking it again. But the thing that when I was going through that it's not that I wasn't able to do the work, I was absolutely able to do the work it was really frustrating to me. I think I actually had something wrong with my hand and then I eventually figured out oh, it's because I'm trying to grip something that I can't hold onto, okay, and then I realized, oh, it's doing this subconscious kind of work. It's so hard to put a grasp on what it is. Yeah, it still exists, it still is important, it still has value and it's still you can articulate it, but it's not super easy. And then just recently this year. So I started that course again about a month and a half ago or so.

Speaker 1: 18:29

I was just working with somebody else and the conversation occurred. It was like where am I having blocks in my business? And she asked me a question and she was like, basically, I said I kind of get that's one of my biggest fears is I get distracted, I get lost in whatever it is. So like if I'm doing the healing, I get completely lost in the healing. Like I can go away and I come back and I'm like, yeah, I kind of remember some of that. I hope you remember it. You know, but that's part of it. Like that's the process that you're supposed to do. But then if I have to do work, especially work, I'm noticing today the work that I really hate doing, the parts that I don't like to do. I go into that and then two hours later I've done stuff but I haven't done the thing that I'm supposed to be doing. And what did I do? And how can I? I can't even remember what happened. So it's almost like I went into that same kind of space and I got lost.

Speaker 1: 19:27

And she said, well, when is a time early in your life when you did, did you ever retreat to that in a way to say stay safe? And I was like, well, yeah, I guess probably like when my dad was yelling, when he was drunk, right Like you know your little kid at the house and the dad is like you know, he's drunk. Yeah, scary and sure I would like occupy myself with whatever I was doing. And I was totally lost in that because that was safe and I didn't have to deal with what was happening in my life. And what she told me was essentially as we've I'm sure you know these things in.

Speaker 1: 20:02

A lot of listeners are probably familiar with the idea of we develop coping mechanisms to deal with our immediate environment and if we don't, even if your environment changes, you still oftentimes keep those coping mechanisms. So it's sort of what has happened. It's it was very easy for me to go into the space of the unknown, but now I'm still doing it, so like I get uncomfortable with whatever job I'm supposed to be doing and then I still go there and so again it's like come out and it's like it's been two hours and I still haven't done that thing. And so what she was saying is don't use it as a coping mechanism. You need to retrain yourself to feel safe, because basically I did that because I didn't feel safe.

Speaker 1: 20:41

Right, so I retrain myself to feel safe and then I can still use it for my work, my business meaning like hypnosis or energy work or whatever. I can still use it for that, but I don't want to use it as an escape mechanism. And that's been, it hasn't even, it's hardly even been 24 hours, but that was really, it was really. I'm opening for me because I, because I can remember the feeling and it's happened so many times that I'm just like, yeah, that that makes a lot of sense. But again, it's that because the going into the feminine energy is that relaxed, calm, open space, which is what going into the subconscious is right.

Speaker 3: 21:23

Yeah, I just, I just watched I mean I'm really in this search on contemplation and I could just watch the peace on crime and it was, yeah, do you do? You? Do you, does mindfulness fit you or are you? You know, is mindfulness for you? Something like that? And it was four different instructors that talked about mindfulness and it was, it was, it was a good basic piece, and they, they were talking about, you know, the mind and the observer in there, and the observer learning to pay attention to what the mind is saying, which is going to be going around and around and around and around. And in mind, sometimes I just have to say stop and I have to come out here to look because it's just too crazy. But the observer needs to look at you know what is the mind thinking? And then, is this something I want to think? Is it negative? If it is negative, do I want to continue to have it? Does it serve me? Maybe it doesn't. I don't know if that's helpful or not, but I know that it's.

Speaker 1: 22:44

It works as far as when I take the time to pay attention On some level that does connect to the feminine energy, because you're so weird, so hard to describe, because you are you, you are still the same body and they're right. But what you're saying is you're stepping back from yourself to notice what, essentially, the body is kind of going through, right, so you're going, you're stepping back to receiving.

Speaker 3: 23:11

Yeah, but it's actually the mind is going through the body by it, Because what we think the body rushes to help, whether it's shoot or does all or give you diarrhea. I mean, you get all these experiences in the body, but the mind is the, is the seed bed for the problem making or for the gift. Yeah.

Speaker 3: 23:40

And it'll serve the body, or the or the body will go. I gotta help you, and that's not always helpful. I mean to the body. So the observer in there is the one that needs to remain calm and helpful.

Speaker 1: 24:02

Yeah, but I still see the observer right, which is our higher self. I still see the observer as demonstrating essentially the feminine energy, because it's stepping back and watching and then then making it's whatever decision it's going to wind up making right.

Speaker 3: 24:19

Yeah, I mean, it's like being a mom, yeah, and it's like your kid. Why is it what? You know they've acted that way three or four times and you're thinking what's going on? What's going on here, you know, and you finally stop long enough and you see that the kid is being pinched in some way or or they're acting out in some way and so you need to have it find out what's under there. You have to have them help you find out, and that's what a mom does.

Speaker 1: 24:48

Yeah, that's. I actually had another conversation with somebody else and that essentially I don't remember how we were talking about, what we were talking about energy kind of work, and coming back to being this unconditionally loving mother is even just to yourself, is just this.

Speaker 3: 25:07

That's who we forget.

Speaker 1: 25:09

Yeah.

Speaker 3: 25:10

We forget her? Yeah, and we don't always. You know, for me I had a. I had a mother who, I really believe, was mentally ill, and and it isn't that she was never nurturing, it wasn't that she was never kind, but she was with her, her and me, with our personalities I was just difficult for her. I had brothers and sisters that were too, and then there were the others that they considered themselves the good ones.

Speaker 1: 25:42

Anyway, it just means they got along better.

Speaker 3: 25:46

Well, I didn't give her any trouble. But poor mom, you know she, she didn't do the nurturing with me and I, even if she had, I wouldn't have trusted her.

Speaker 1: 25:58

Oh, why do you think that?

Speaker 1: 26:02

Because of the way she dealt with me, I kept thinking because there was too much essentially backstory or history with not nurturing you. So if there was nurturing, then it would have been suspicious. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And through that dream interpretation course, I had a reading with Michael Sheridan, who's the head honcho, right, like he's been doing this for 30 years. He's the total expert. And I booked a session. I, completely blind, like like, whatever doesn't matter, we'll see what it is right. That's pretty much how I am about most things. So I don't remember how it is, but he picked a dream or whatever, and there were a couple of them that he did.

Speaker 1: 26:42

But it was like first he starts asking questions about my mom, what was my relationship with my mom? And then it was my dad and I answered the questions as I think most people do, like did you have this kind of relationship with your mom? And I was like, well, it was kind of like, sort of like what you were describing. There were, maybe she wasn't the most cuddly or whatever, but that doesn't mean that she didn't love me or we didn't get along. We got along pretty well. I think I actually said I got along with my mom better than my other two sisters and he says, well, it doesn't matter if you got along better with your other two sisters. Or I asked if you felt essentially nurtured, because we just human need that. And so I was like, well, no, I guess not. And so through the conversation I get done with that thing and I'm like how did this, like what? And so for a couple of days I was in my head like, okay, so you're telling me that this is my relationship with my mom, and I know that he's not wrong, because when he says something specific, I'm like, okay, that's true, I do feel that way, meaning it's a feeling that I've had, that I've never shared with anybody, because there would be no reason for me to share that right, not because I was hiding him, just because there wasn't any reason. And so it was really just messing with my head, because I was like, okay, all right, I know what you said is true, but it doesn't like consciously, doesn't really make a whole lot of sense.

Speaker 1: 28:10

And then eventually I got to the point where I realized I didn't realize that this was something for me either, but I see that in other people. So when I do energy work with people, meaning I'm the client, I'm pretty much like you know, whatever, we'll try it, we'll see, I'll give you feedback and we'll see how it goes. I don't come to and I can't say that I've always been like that, but typically nowadays I don't come to a session expecting things not to work or, you know, being skeptical of whatever the practices. Okay, so, but I still see that with some people, like some people who come to me. So it must still be in my energy field.

Speaker 1: 28:46

And what I noticed with the German interpretation is there is absolutely no room whatsoever to say that there was any other influence on what I created in my dreams, and because I've gone to the energy, to the effort of actually writing it down, and then, as I write it down, the images become stronger, so that days and weeks later somebody asked me a question, I'm like no, it wasn't like that, it was like this. It was a teal color, it wasn't green, you know like, and it was. Or it was a lime green, it wasn't. You know whatever it is.

Speaker 1: 29:15

And so that was, that was a big shift for me to, first off, to recognize that maybe I had some feelings I hadn't dealt with with my parents, but also the fact that you can't lie with dream interpretation Like you can pick anything in the entire universe and more, and you pick these things, then you'd go to the effort to write down and then you have an appointment with somebody and they're going to interpret it. You can't lie about it. I mean you can if you want, but you're not going to be getting what you want to. Right, right, right.

Speaker 3: 29:46

Right.

Speaker 1: 29:48

So, that being said, it's been really interesting to kind of watch that evolve in terms of okay, so what does that mean? That means that, first off, we all have a lot of stuff we need to work through anyways, what our lives are all about. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't know, it's all just very, I guess it just to me it feels confusing, it feels muddled, it feels like if I was talking to astrological, it feels like Neptune, like very cloudy, unclear. Well, that's, that is, that is. That is that's the way they describe Neptune. So it's not that it's not divine or it's not important or anything like it is, but it's very cloudy, it's very confusing, it's hard to solidify, it's hard to put into words or whatever.

Speaker 1: 30:39

And, yeah, it's an, it's an interesting dynamic to kind of what I find actually is it's a little bit easier to sense the. For me, it's a little bit easier to sense what the energy is, sometimes physically, than it is to be able to articulate it. So I don't know how to describe it other than you know, when you come across somebody who's really connected with their feminine side, if you, if you are, you've worked on your own feminine energy and you don't have a trigger that they're triggering. You can then see that person in their feminine energy and just really enjoy it, whereas if somebody comes up to you and either energy and you have parts where you haven't worked on, then that'll trigger you yeah it's thinking that when we're talking about energy feminine energy, I think also being in touch with our creativity.

Speaker 1: 31:47

Oh yeah, that's a big one.

Speaker 3: 31:49

It's very, very much feminine. I don't know, it doesn't matter whether you're in a masculine body or a feminine body. I say that real carefully now because I know there's not everybody identifies that way, but it's all true.

Speaker 1: 32:07

I think there's something a little bit off about that, in the sense that I think that the younger people who are dealing with these gender identity issues are actually in tune with the masculine and the feminine and not wanting to be labeled as one, or maybe they feel stronger in one type of energy versus the other one. Does that make sense?

Speaker 3: 32:28

That makes sense, I didn't find that that's cool. But what I'm thinking is, when you go through the chakra system and you have this incredible orange, how many people love orange?

Speaker 1: 32:41

Not very many, oh no, that's my least favorite color.

Speaker 3: 32:44

Oh, many people say I will never wear that color. I don't choose that color for an accent in their home or whatever. I like it. In fact I had when I was in high school. My sister, rita, was the same stress in my senior graduation. My senior prom. It wasn't my prom, I went to this public school prom. Anyway, I had her make me this beautiful orange formal and I had an eyelet overlay. It was a fire line. Oh, I love that thing because I designed it and the color. It was beautiful. But I know that a lot of people would never in a million years wear orange. That orange is got a life all its own.

Speaker 1: 33:34

It does, and I've had my own Many shades of it.

Speaker 1: 33:38

I've had my own evolution with that. So, even though I have a degree in art okay, and it's not that there's not a whole lot of adults that say, oh, what's your favorite color? But as an artist you do have favorite colors and you do wind up using them over and over. Well, so in college that conversation came up Like, okay, basically, what's your favorite color, pick a color you like. And I'm like I don't know if I can pick a color. I just like color, like, I just like color in general. So, after repeated requests about that, I eventually got to the point where I said, well, what's your favorite color? And I would say, well, orange is not my favorite, and that's all I can say, because I liked the other ones. And, to be honest, it's not that I hate all orange. I don't hate all orange. I think it definitely has a place and there are some that are really beautiful, but I know what you're talking about with orange.

Speaker 1: 34:29

Matter of fact, I had a dream, which is funny. I had a dream that my mother had we had my mother she could pick to paint a wall in this house that we had whatever color she wanted. And so I had the conversation with my husband and go away and then to come back and miss a bit of painter. That was there and she picked orange. But she didn't just pick orange, she picked like the ugliest orange. It was like you know, those 70s countertops the orange, the dark orange, that was orange, yep, and honestly that's like the epitome of the colors that I don't like. So then there was yellow in there. Do you remember the yellow from the 70s too, which is not this lively yellow? It's like brown orange and or maybe gold. It goes in green Green, that's angry.

Speaker 1: 35:12

That's green.

Speaker 1: 35:13

Yep, like you put the ugliest colors in the universe and these are the four that you put together. So, anyways, that was my dream, and the interpretation of that one was she's still influencing me, right? Yeah, of course, of course, yeah, well, I think this feminine energy stuff is it is kind of hard to articulate. I think we should, if we can get inspired maybe, to talk more about that in the future. I think we should because even just looking at the masculine and feminine energy and how do you navigate that, I think that would help everybody.

Speaker 3: 35:48

Yesterday I met with a friend of mine. We're old friends, we've done gravel together and worked with kids together, and Suzanne is also Catholic and involved with church in Helena and she was. She works in this retreat kind of setting. They call it journey here in Great Falls. They call it Cuncrito, and it's it flows out of what was called the Crisio, which was a Spanish emphasis for short course in Christianity is what it basically matters amounts to. Anyway, in preparing for it, the teams get together and they all get assigned certain things and they have to share these things. This isn't before they ever have have retreat. It's a big deal and it does some wonderful things for people, especially in creating community.

Speaker 3: 36:43

Well, suzanne was assigned Mary Mother, mary Blessed Virgin, and so she was telling me about her. We met for supper last night because she's in town on retreat for herself, and, and we met for supper and so we talked about Mary. So I printed out these pictures today. Of course, I had a journal on Mary. These are icons which, when you deal with Roman Catholicism, you have a kind of a different emphasis of Mary than you do with your Orthodox. Okay, so I chose. I chose two Orthodox, and this one is Our Lady of Manawak, which is Filipino, okay, and so you have all manner of these names, and that's what Suzanne was saying is she wanted to take because this is the divine feminine in Christianity Mary, she is the epitome of the divine feminine and and that's in Orthodox tradition it's called the Theotokos, which is the mother of God Okay, the mother of Jesus, although that's who God is in the teaching, but mother of God, and so that honor that is given her is huge and this is that, the divine feminine that is expressed in the Western culture and comes out of that Eastern culture. This mother of Manawak is Filipino and you can see how rich and oh, it's just kind of really, really fancy clothing that she has been assigned.

Speaker 3: 38:30

And when people begin to believe in a particular direction, this is a miracle that happened in the Philippines. They have a huge, I think it's like a basilica, probably a small one, but it's a big church, and they have bunches and bunches of steps that you have to climb to get to it. I mean, it's a sacrifice and it's an honor and it's a respect for our mother of Manawak. Anyway, whenever people begin to honor in any fashion, it's the same Mary, but different aspects displayed in all of these different miracles and the multitudinous names that she has been granted, and when you have this experience of Mary, it looks very much like worship. The church does not teach that, it's worship. We're taught that this is an honor and a respect of this woman because she was willing to take the risk to be the mother of God. Okay, big deal.

Speaker 3: 39:45

I can't imagine what that little 14-year-old girl was thinking when it happened, but you'd have to be that young to say yes. But the mother, my daughter-in-law is Filipino, and so I learned about this aspect of Mary from Delia, because her mother was born and raised in this town. Where this happened, there was a famine that was taking place and it was because the crops weren't being able to be harvested, and they prayed to her and the famine released, and so they gave her the credit, and then they, poor people, always go to great lengths to spend their money in a direction that honors, gives the honor to wherever they believe, and that always amazes me, because all you have to do is learn any of the stories behind Mary and you will have poor people, always poor people, either vulnerable people like children, children who have seen miracles and will report them and be accused of making things up. Children don't make things like that up, they can't do that.

Speaker 3: 41:08

But this whole thing with Suzanne preparing for Mary, her question to me and she's one of these people that asked me these questions. I never can answer them and I said I just know when we meet you're gonna do that to me again and all I've done all day is think about this darn, visit me. Anyway, in this whole thing she said she was asking about, about the relationship with Mary. What is a person's relationship with her? There's a lot of people who pray and they ask Mary for things and she seems to grant a great deal of things. She met with children and she said she said that to ask the people to pray the rosary so that communism could be eliminated. Well, it wasn't eliminated, but it did leave Russia and that was part of the thing was that people worldwide were to pray the rosary. You know, at this beautiful one recently inherited. Anyway, she, she asked me that question. So I've been reflecting on it all day, on this divine feminine.

Speaker 1: 42:34

Oh, that's funny.

Speaker 3: 42:36

What is my relationship with this woman? Because I have had her in my life since infancy. I swear I had her in my life, in the womb. My mother was a devotee of Mary. There wasn't a day that we missed praying the rosary, and it was no different for me to go to boarding school and pray the rosary and be at home and pray the rosary and and do all forms of religion and piety and devotions and and Mary. It was just always a part of our life.

Speaker 3: 43:11

But I never really embraced the rosary until about three or four years ago and I thought how, how can I affect any change for peace in the world? How can I? What can I do? And that's a feminine direction. Peace, I mean, it would be who have some people making decisions to maybe listen to that feminine side that they have to? They just aren't. But anyway, how can I connect with people around the world? And I thought through the rosary, because it's prayed everywhere. It is prayed everywhere and I know that there are people praying for peace. And so that was my only thought was I can do that much and so my time has changed in my relationship with her and looking forward to doing it, because always before it was a big snore.

Speaker 1: 44:01

Something that you like. It's a specific prayer that you pray, like you repeat.

Speaker 3: 44:07

Yeah, it's a repetition which most Catholic prayers are. Catholic prayers are the. I heard a teaching on this one time that was absolutely phenomenal. I have a small one here, it's a silver one that I've used to and you, you start out with with the cross and you pray the creed that belongs to all Christians, and then you move into an our father, three Hail Marys. And then you, you announce whatever mystery you are going to pray this different day, week or different mystery. And there's a set of three. We have a total of, so there's different ones on different days. You can pray all 20. But it would take probably an hour and 15 minutes to do that. Okay, or Bob, anyway. So then you, you announce the mystery, so you can just pray the rosary and not even do those, those mysteries. You, this is an our father, 10 Hail Marys and our father, 10 Hail Marys. Our father, 10 Hail Marys. Our father, 10 Hail Marys. And then at the end there's some other prayers that can be prayed, okay, okay.

Speaker 3: 45:23

And when someone is leading, leading it, they do the first half, you read, you respond with the second half. They call it antiphonal prayer. This, the leader says this, the other group says this, or it can be. This side does this. This side does this. Everybody knows what the rules are. It's ritual. It's ritual on the same way, every single time. You don't say your amen, you get better, okay, but it's. It's a prayer that you can just just just say, the, the rote prayer, and there's something about the rhythm, and I believe it has to do with energy and frequencies.

Speaker 3: 46:04

Yeah our Father, what in heaven, how would be thy name? That kingdom come. They will be down on earth as it is, they haven't. And then the next group, you know, says the give us this day our daily bread. And there's a blue and it's small and it has a resonance to it, that that flows. You know our father, who are heaven. Hail Mary full of grace, glory be to the father. I mean, there's a, there's a a rocking to it, yeah, and it's, it's, it's great for the soul.

Speaker 3: 46:36

Now you can do just that, not think anything more. Or you can do a very focused contemplative movement of each bead and focus on Hail Mary full of grace. I mean, it takes a long time to pray that one, let me die. But you can do that kind of meditation to, like I said, you can have the ones where you, you pray the mysteries of the rosary and their joyful mystery, sorrow mysteries, glory, glorious mysteries and luminous mysteries, and they all tell the story of Jesus.

Speaker 3: 47:11

There's also ways of praying this that are an intention is set for someone or for something, and you want them to say be healed. And so you can do the whole rosary that way, you can do one decade of the rosary that way, or you can do a certain thing on each bead for for that particular person, for healing, you know. May they have peace and Hail Mary full of grace. May they be graced today. Hail Mary full of grace. May they be feel love today. Hail Mary full grace. Be with the doctors today. Hail Mary full of grace. I mean, you can, you can do each one that way. This, this particular sacramental, is what they're called. This particular sacramental is the most amazing meditation piece of our own.

Speaker 1: 48:10

I can see that, and what I am hearing you say over and over in different ways is and I find that interesting is that about poor people, because the poor people are the ones who are unable to like, they're not able to entertain this facade or this illusion that they have control over something. Right.

Speaker 1: 48:32

Right. So they say reality than we do. Yeah, they, but they, they're at the point where they have to surrender and by surrendering then they are open to receiving, which puts them in the feminine. So that's what they connect with her. Yes, and then, as you're describing here, you know that, like you're, you're doing an excellent job describing of what what I'm hearing is.

Speaker 1: 48:55

You know, I've been in churches where I've heard that. I mean, I grew up in the Episcopal church, so I heard a lot of that, not all of it, but I heard a lot of it and I was like, yeah, I know, it's exactly the right description. It's, there's a vibration to it, there's a flow to it, there's like it is like a rocking boat. So even if you didn't say amen, it wasn't like somebody was going to stop the whole boat, but you know, just pay attention. But but the rocking, even that rocking motion, even with just the words, is comforting and it does. It allows you to be open, like you're the child maybe in the womb or you're in your mother's arms or something like that. You know, and you are able to receive and focus on.

Speaker 1: 49:31

So it is absolutely the same thing as meditation In a sense. I think it's. I don't know to say that it's better, but it's certainly more accepted, you know, in in society than sometimes other practices are. So you know that in that way it's really good. But also what it does on a physical plane. Is it distract your mind enough that your mind is not focused on all these other insignificant? Yeah?

Speaker 3: 49:57

right, yeah, you got it.

Speaker 3: 49:58

You got it. That's so true. And it makes such a difference when you are, when you're in the throes of of agony. We have friends right now whose daughter has came for Christmas visit, seizure, has a brain tumor, has to have surgery, and then she's got some other things, but they can't get a definition for what's the matter. They can figure out what is the matter. I think she's supposed to have a PET scan this week and I don't understand all the different things. But she's had nothing but test, test, test since she came to visit from Minneapolis for Christmas.

Speaker 3: 50:39

Yeah, and we are doing what is called a litany, no, no. Anyway, it's a prayer to Saint Peregrine, and the prayer is asking for healing for cancer, because Peregrine was a saint in the early, early, early church and he was healed of cancer and so after he died, there were healings that were attributed to his intercession, and so we are joining them because they asked us to to pray that every night for her, so that we seek the healing for for her. And what one is joined together? There's something in that and there's an energy that happens, or maybe it's a synergy, when other people gather together for a common cause.

Speaker 1: 51:42

You know, we have a new member in our group when we do our meditation and she's been there maybe a month or so.

Speaker 1: 51:48

But wonderful she said something she's really into right. She said something that was surprising and I was actually next to Janiel when she said that and I was like ooh, that's really, really interesting. I don't know how she got to, whatever she got to, but she got to one of the, the sessions that we had recorded. Now, remember these, you've been at these sessions and if you're going to YouTube to watch something, this could be very boring because we're just meditating, right, but I put them up there anyways. What they do, it is that for you. But anyway, she, so she did the meditation.

Speaker 1: 52:22

I think it was November 9th, she said, and she's watched a couple of them. And she said you know the, because she bought the video, the pre-made video. Now, the pre-made video, I videotaped her doing the motions and we tried to set it up so that it would be visually instructive, and then we did a recording of the oral part. Okay, and there was nobody else involved, it was just she and I, and so I'm just in the background doing the work to get it recorded and Janelle's the one voicing and demonstrating and it's pretty good. It's a pretty good video. But what this woman said was like the difference between the pre-recorded video and the group session, she can energetically feel the difference.

Speaker 3: 53:04

Yeah, yeah, you have to be able to. It's about the aura around us and it's it's connecting with the guy next to you.

Speaker 1: 53:13

Yeah, and I think I mean I certainly it has been my experience, and I've heard it from other people too that you know you get a recording of a healing. Let's just call it a healing right, and if the intentions are set that way and if it's a group, I mean you can tell it. You'll still get the benefits of whatever is being said or done or whatever, even just recording, yeah.

Speaker 3: 53:37

Highest good will happen Exactly, and that's not always what we intend, but it's best for that person will happen. I have no doubt about it. Thank you yeah.